September 2007 in Mexico - the journal

So this morning I was reading Steamy's Awesomely Bad High School Diary and thought I sure would like to copy her...I mean...I was inspired by...her...yes, that's it.

Anyway I took a good idea and used it.
WITH A TWIST!
Because the only diary I could find was from 2007, when I went to Mexico. And don't be fooled by the fact that I was 24 when I wrote this stuff: it's pure awesome garbage.
I was, and still am, a total loser.
A lot of it is all "and then we went here and I learned where to buy tampons and my spanish sucks and then I found the school!" which, as you know if you've ever visited a foreign country, are all major issues at the time but boring as fuck to read later on.

And now I am going to torture you with ten fine exerpts, which make me laugh or cringe. or both.

1.
(from my second day there, still in a hostel looking for somewhere to live)

I met some chick who is staying in my room with scabs all over her face. I guess, her first day in Mexico City she fell on the sidewalk right on her face. I was kind of relieved because Ive seen some lepers or something on the streets and I thought that's what was up with her, which creeped me out.

2.
(from my tenth day there, after I rented a really really weird apartment)

SHIT the rain just got really loud. Must be the hurricane people have been talking about. WOW it's loud. I guess that's what I get for being on the top floor. My roof always leaks a little bit when it rains. Maybe I should look for a bucket.
Well too bad for me, I don't own a bucket. I think my roof is plastic?

3.

...in the meantime I'm in a crazy bar in Mexico trying to make plans to go banda dancing, which I did not really want to do, I've done it before. It's cowboys, but...Mexican ones. So just as everyone was getting into the taxis I was like "I'm not going" and asked Roman to walk me home because there was a super creepy taco selling man who wouldn't leave Shannon and I alone when we were trying to cross the street. Imagine a sleazy Mexican accent "jhello lady where jou fromn? Tejjjjjas?" and he just kept asking and not leaving us alone. Roman said I should have told him to chinga his madre but I'm thinking that's kind of extreme?

4.

My Spanish-English dictionary is so funny. It has this section on going to a bar, and has some "phrases you may need" like:
-I'm sorry, I can't dance
-Where would you like to go?

Then suddenly it's like
-Will you take me home?
-Do you want to come inside for a while?
-I want to make love to you
-I think we should stop now
-Kiss me

Then
-Can I stay over?
-When can I see you again?
-I don't think it's working out

and my favorite
-I have to leave tomorrow

5.
(september 11)

Ooh I wonder if the Americans are going to be somber today!

6.
(I lived on the roof across from a government office building. and my shitty apartment had the kitchen in another room, on the roof. like, you had to go outside, onto the roof to get to the kitchen.)

I was so angry. Here's the situation: I decided to go to Chedraui (grocery store) for some refrescos and beer and I was wearing a tank top so I was super harassed and it was really getting to me. I was hot, mad, PMS and hungry. And my bags were heavy. And the kitchen door was locked.
And I tried to unlock it for hours (it felt like) and to make everything worse the fucking government office guys were all leaning on a railing watching me and whistling every time I came out to try. Holy shit so I was so angry by the time I got to class because my beer was warm and the cheese soft!

6.

The night before, we had a party at the school and then like...at least 40 people from our school went to La Chiva (bar) to drink which was cool. I got to meet some new people. Even a girl who DESPISES Canada. And isn't afraid to say it. But I don't think she has any concrete reasons, she just seems kind of stupid.

7.
(The last straw at my new apartment - stupid landlord and language confusion)

I was taking the refrigerator box out to the trash pile (literally in Mexico everybody on a street just hucks their garbage in a pile) and Iliana (landlord) stopped me and asked me to leave it for the cats to play with, so I said OK and then asked her if she could give me the stuff I needed for immigration, and she said she forgot and I was like "oh, ok, what about tomorrow" and she said "ah, no, I just have to look for it, something something, I'll give it to you ahorita" and she went into her house. So I waited for at least half an hour and finally knocked on her door to find out WTF is going on...she was like "NO I said HORITA" ... I guess it means something else entirely because I thought it meant "right away" but to her it meant "in a few hours"?

8.
Sept 15 - Mexican Independence Day

Today I'm a little nervous. It's the day of "la grita" - so like thousands of Mexicans and us are going to get all crazy and yell "Viva Mexico". Flor (my "cultural aide" assigned by the school) told me there's a good chance someone is going to try to feel me up and rob me. And Shannon's friends said it too. Ugh. I'll get my elbows ready to do some prime elbowing.
(later that day)
Sophie and I got separated from everyone else - the last person we saw was Shannon up in a tree! We waited until 12:00...they were playing Banda music, like...there was a concert...the grito was supposed to be at midnight and we waited until like 1:30 and then I got a text saying it was over and we missed it somehow?

9.
(Sept 21 - after ditching my crappy plastic roofed apartment and moving into a house with three other people)

Well, I did all my immigration crap. I just have to pick up my visa in a couple weeks. I moved, and it turns out there's unkillable termites living directly over my bed and throwing down little poo-balls or wood-balls or wood/poo-balls?
All day I've been spraying insecticide that Flor recommended to me and they just keep making poo-balls. I don't even know.

(a few days later)

So we got home early. I went straight upstairs to look at my bed...instead of poo-balls there were dead bugs! Yaaay!

10.

I was filling out a form in the immigration office where you have to check off your hair color, eye color, face shape, etc and there were some I didn't know so I was asking the man, and then there was one for "bigote" and I asked what type of bigote I have...he was like "you don't have one" then I realized it means "moustache".

___

I also found something awesome, especially out of context.

"I keep thinking about what Jesus said. About me being a good writer. I wonder if I could actually write something."

hahaha Jesus was our writing class teacher.

___

I'm going to continue this series. Today. Because I am skipping school and want to read old diaries instead. So warm-up your google readers guys, it's gonna be a marathon of awkward Mexican moments!