I am jealous of people who have a journal.
Sure, I have a blog that I write in every day, but it's not the same.
That feeling of holding something in your hands, filled with secrets and memorabilia...it's different. It's way more special.
And the thing is, it's not for a lack of trying. I'm just a terrible journal user. I have like 35 little moleskine/bamboo/regular cardboard notebooks around. I usually have at least one with me at all times so I can jot down random thoughts. I just can't commit to one.
And I'm too embarrassed to write in one in public.
And I'm too afraid that somebody will find it and learn all my secrets, so I always write in them the way I write on here; I write as though somebody is going to read it.
It's not for me, it's for the person who digs it out of a steamer trunk full of old furs and black and white photographs they find in their grandma's attic.
Also, I have old journals and diaries from past lives. I always used them when I was unhappy, and they are terrible to look through because you can smell the depression through the "it'll get better"s and the "it's only temporary"s and the "my job is ok"s. You can see the breakups a mile away. You can tell I was dying inside a little bit. And yet I still wrote as though somebody was going to go through my stuff and read it at any moment.
Worst of all, even though I'm an imaginative silly person, my diaries are boring. I never let myself be creative.
That's why I'm so haphazard with my journalling now. It fits my lifestyle better than the DATE EVENT FEELINGS type journal. I have no dates in the books and I write on any page. I draw stupid pictures and write down conversations I hear.
It works. ANd they're fun to look at.
Maybe that's just how my mind is.
But I still envy those neat tidy journals other people keep.
So do you keep a journal? What's it like?
Thursday, December 10
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10 comments:
I don't, nor think about keeping one. I use my blog as such, but like you are saying, its public and not too deep. Thats what beer and friends are for.
See, and I wish I could be like you. Writing down random things and drawing sounds more interesting.
I used to keep journals. I was religious about it. I think I've got at least 6 or 7 from my angst ridden teenage years. But the older I became, the more I hated actually WRITING. I'd rather type, which is why I don't keep one anymore.
Also, I pretty much say it all on my blog now.
I've always wanted to be consistent with my journal writing. But be it a blog or a journal, I'm just too forgetful.
I usually only my journal when something big happens in my life. I try to put down every detail, every thought and feeling, so that when I'm old I can look back and laugh at my stupidity.
I live alone, so I don't have to worry about someone finding it and reading it, hehe.
I'm the same, I can't commit to a journal at all. And they're always depressing to read because they're just too damn honest and filled with emotion. I like blogging far better - it's still my life but with a humourous spin because I have an audience to entertain.
I keep a journal, but my mom read it once. It was hidden under my bed. Clearly I'm not a good hider. Then she made me move out. I didn't talk to her for a while.
I did for a long time, but I can't stand to look at them. Or get rid of them:p
I stopped way before I started blogging, but I must say, the blogging works much better for me. I think something about writing it so that a complete stranger will understand, helps me work it out for myself. And not keeping everything a secret feels good. And stuff.
I don't keep a journal because why would I CREATE evidence? That would be like volunteering to be fingerprinted.
I used to read my teenage daughters diary. She thought I was having her followed. So naive. snicker-snicker
@jp ah, that's my problem. no friends!
@owo i agree. it's hard to keep up with the brain when you're writing. it's so slow!
@ba yeah, i'm too forgetful too. I always start one with the best intentions but like 2 months later i'm all "woopsie"
@sg humor is always more fun to look back on, for sure! I think if I were to start one again I would try and write it with a funny outlook.
@krista yikes! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU WRITE IN THERE? hahaha
@mona Yes! Agreed one hundred percent.
@kurt hahaha I know, it does seem like a surefire way to get caught doing something wrong.
@CW hahaha you are awful! But I totally would read my teenager's diary too. Seeing what kind of "terrible things" and "emotions" and "thoughts" she was having would be hilarious
me too.
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